SUICIDE - By Curt Wiser

     

     High School is a prison, the only difference is you have weekends and evenings off.  No matter how bad things are, even if the bleakness is bone crushing and out of your control, know this.  High school does come to an end.  When it does, things change for all of us overnight.  That is when lives are truly lived, and more on our own terms.  The rich possibilities of life are endless, you just have to stay on that train.

     Made up of brick and glass with separate cells, each with over a dozen cell mates.  Routine sets in.  You may become institutionalized to accept the bad, to let it get worse, it’s hard not to.  We inmates all deal with it in our own way.   But you must never resort to excessive violence, the kind that anyone may not return from.  Life is far too important to ever feel you can hold it in your hands, even if that life is your own.

     Me, I’ve been to prison and I came out the other side.  I know how it feels to fight, to cry, to feel love unanswered, to be used, discarded or ignored.  To feel pain everlasting, to believe you cannot trust those close to you, to not want to let anyone in.  To lose control in the face of anger, to become lost in the void.  To be heavy with guilt, or sorrow, and to take it, to feel weightless, if only for one night.  To feel shapeless among the contrived geometry of the world.   To socialize through media or fall victim to media that is far from social.  But you can’t let it, them or those ruin you...... because.......

     Perspective changes with each passing year, setting sun or rising action.  I am now a 38 year old man.  Never better.  Never healthier.  Emboldened and fully alive.  The offenders, the allies, the worst of best friends, what those of my past will never know, because they are excised from my life, is that I’m just fine and thank you very much.  Because what I believed then and know to be true now, High School is a prison.  Just wait until you get released.